#008 ✰ My lending problem
And how I think I can overcome it!
Good day to you!
Today I wanted to talk about something I am not really proud of, but I thought it would be better addressed in this newsletter, rather than repressed forever. Also, maybe you’ll relate, who knows :)
As far as I recall, I’ve always struggled with lending my stuff to others.
For a long time I thought it was a lack of generosity. Wanting to keep things for myself. A sense of property that makes you the unique person enjoying this item.
Didn’t matter who I lent it to, and how much I loved this person. My sister grabbing a top in my closet, or a friend in need for camping gear. I couldn’t really understand why I was being so greedy and uncomfortable when I was asked. In the end, I would either find an excuse not to do it, or do it but damn, it hurt.
On a pure rational point of view, this reaction doesn’t make any sense. Why wouldn’t you share the usage of some thing instead of having it rot somewhere? What’s the point of having so many things, if anyway you’re being -physically- constraint to only use a small amount of them -always the same?- at a given point in time?
And then one day last year, I understood. I had lent a tripod to a friend for his holidays. I seldom use mine and he knew I had one -damn it! lol- so he kindly asked and I couldn’t say no. I tried to convince myself that it’s great, this poor tripod is about to live the week of his life alongside surfers in Ericeira. Holidays are now over, but tripod hasn’t come back. I ask. “Damn it, my friend took it back home” my friend says. Then the friend moves out to another city. And the tripod is stuck I don’t know where. Six months later (yes, six) I end up meeting this friend of his, somewhere in Paris. To get my tripod back. Grains of sand have jammed the mechanism. But at this point, I don’t care anymore.
My problem isn’t about lending stuff so that it can be used by others ; my problem stands in retrieving my stuff after that. Here are the two most commons scenarii that makes me really, really uncomfortable:
my stuff gets broken or damaged.
S*** happens, and that’s ok. But “damaged” for me might be different than “damaged” for you. And man, I came to realize that not everyone is as picky as me. When the stuff isn’t returned in the same condition: how do you nicely ask a friend to repair or repay if (s)he doesn’t offer spontaneously? Having to start this discussion and potentially argue is the last thing I want to do with my friends. I better say ‘nope’ in the first place. Or repair it myself, mumbling it’s the last time ever.Need => a way to lend and collect back, that is emotionless.
my stuff is not being returned at all.
Have you ever had to chase acquaintances, friends or loved ones for things you once shared? I hate having to do so. I know most of the times it’s just an omission, that life goes on, we move in and out. They forgot, and you probably forgot too. My parents used to write their names on the books they shared. A good start, but then… what? This doesn’t prevent from having this book disappear forever from your shelves.Need => set up reminders for both parties -notifications?- after a given period of time (agreed in advance).
Ultimately, in my case, I think there is a fear of losing control for the sake of being nice.
Lending stuff is a behavior we -and I, selfishly :)- want to empower with a tool like myStvff: unlocking the rational, generous part in you by providing the optimal environment and assurance that things don’t get lost.
How about you?! 😊
Did you ever ask yourself these questions? Do you lend stuff easily? What’s slowing you down from doing so more regularly? Any tips to be better at it? Let’s talk!
Testing the app is the thing to do 😎
If you’ve signed up to our waitlist, there’s a chance you’d have received an email from TestFlight to download our private beta app (iOS only for now). We need your feedback! So let’s get back to this email and install myStvff 🤓🙏
If you haven’t yet… what are you waiting for? 🙃
Android people, don’t be shy, we’re coming for you sooner than later!
Have a beautiful end of the day!
Mathilde
