#059 ✰ Hunting for the one, your one
Broken reco, can we do better? • SoaO: Kristen's vintage purse
Hey there 👋 I’m Mathilde. We are Objet. We explore the intersection of consumerism, myth, satisfaction, desire, taste, joy, meaning and pride. Not specifically in that order. To brag at your next dinner, Objet is the french word for 'object' and should be pronounced 'OB-JEH'.
I hope you’re having a beautiful day. If you’re new here, welcome ! Here’s what we are going to cover today:
Our mission 👉 Wait, what are they onto again?
This week 👉 Hunting For The One? Your One
Soul of an Objet 👉 Kristen’s Vintage Coach Purse
What’s up on the app 👉 Bounties : collective help on your next hunt
Cool reads 👉 Cause you know, it’s always cool to read cool stuff
Our mission
Our mission is to help people thrive at not regretting their purchases anymore, to be at peace with their surroundings. We are here to bring back friction and empowerment at a time they almost disappeared.
The whole relationship with our objects is rotten: from hijacked desires, to suspicious recommendations, from insipid binge-buying to disposable ‘stuff’ and a get-rid-off paralysis.
We want to bring back joy and pride. And liberate you from all the noise.
This week | Hunting For The One? Your One.
I ain’t talking about your life partner. Yeah sorry. Rather about this object that matches your current quest. The one you are willing to wait for. The one you’d rather associate with a cool, meaningful story.
Incentive misalignment
Let’s face it. Who is naturally inclined to give you radically honest recommendations?
Shop vendors will sell their mother to have you stop by the cashier on your way out; online ‘curators’ with their affiliated links are somehow no different. Their -even expert- insights are biased by incentives to sell you something at all cost. How many times have I heard ‘this look SO great on you!’ while the inner me was like ‘Is she seriously talking to me right now?!’
And online ratings? Haha, well good luck navigating between haters, people who’ve had this product for just two days and are still on dopamine kick, and the 3.5-star rule.
***
All you’d need is someone to sometimes tell you: “nope, DON’T BUY, I am dead serious“. Other times, that someone who’d also step in with hand-picked selections that’d blow your mind. A personal shopper who’d know you perfectly, which sole and unique motivation would be that you’re content, proud, at peace, forever.
Who’s that? ☎️
What if this person was a collective? We believe there is a very special kind of intelligence in the collective. Spaces like r/BuyItForLife are an inspiration.
Give first
Call it good karma if you wish. Just like when this dad stops you at a traffic light to ask you what are these kid covers on your bike and whether you’d recommend them. Take it as a free opportunity to speak the truth. No oversell, no bullshit, no transaction involved. There is nothing for you to win nor lose. Experiencing humanity at its core.
“People have vastly different desires, except for three things: Respect, feeling useful, and control over their time. Those are nearly universal.” Morgan Housel
Set up your expectations
First, good insights do not necessarily end up on a purchase. Sometimes you’re just better off waiting.
Second, good insights will tell you what sucks about that potential option, too. Maybe there won’t be any option close to perfect. With that knowledge, tradeoffs will be yours to make.
Soul of an Objet | Kristen Pavle
Social tech researcher & human connector Kristen shares the backstory of her vintage Coach purse.
Tell us, what's the backstory of this object?
I bought this vintage Coach purse on Etsy after looking for a perfect, small, black purse for a couple years. I needed a replacement for a small, black purse I'd bought when I was in my early 20s in Chicago at Urban Outfitters. I remember going to buy it--I was on the hunt for something easy to wear, and small, so I could bring it to the Pitchfork Music Festival, an annual event in Union Park, Chicago. I had just moved to a new neighborhood in the city, and had new roommates who became friends. We had a big social group and we were all going to the festival. It's one of my core memories of being young and free. I could fit the basics in my little purse to last me the few days outside listening to music.
What I didn't know is this purse would be my go-to for pretty much all outings. Going out for dinner, running an errand, live music, trip to the park... anywhere I was going, I was using my little black purse. I've had other little black purses during the last 10+ years, but this was my favorite. And when I nomaded in a car across the U.S. for almost 2 years, it was of course my purse of choice. The thing is, when you use a purse so often, for so many years, it starts to wear out. And it wasn't exactly high-end, so when it wore out, it literally started falling apart.
It took me two years to find the perfect replacement because I didn't want to let go of the little black purse--it represents a version of me, a younger version who was figuring out how to live my life. I wasn't ready to "grow up". After searching far and wide, on-and-off, I decided to focus my search on vintage Coach--with a large selection, it was really about finding the closest thing to my original. The option I selected is called the "Casino" and it's just perfect. It's definitely an upgrade: more sophisticated, but still fun and exactly what I look to grab on my way out of the house. I think this one will last at least 20 years... here's to hoping!
What object’s been your best investment?
My Lifeforme yoga mat. Funny story, my partner Dave bought it for himself and then I stole it because I do yoga more than he does (every day!). And I probably wouldn't have purchased this mat because it's a bit on the pricey side. I love that it has guide markers on the mat so you can align easily, and it's lasted me years. I love that it's worn in, and starting to wonder what the lifespan is for a yoga mat. Maybe I'll make it to 10 years?
Is there any other type of things you truly like to dig into?
I love vintage clothing! There's something special about vintage clothes, knowing that there probably isn't too many other items like yours. I love that feeling of finding something unique, especially when it fits just right. There's a feeling like the article of clothing was made for me. I've found that I get along well with women who own vintage shops, because we share the same adoration for vintage. Almost as if the clothing has its own life to live, as it looks to find a new owner. My favorite vintage purchase is a black cape with mother of pearl buttons that have anchors on them - it's just so freaking cool. It's in storage right now, so no picture to share just yet!
What's the next purchase you're currently contemplating?
Ugh - the bane of my existence right now is finding a new pair of jeans! And if I'm being honest, probably two pairs - 1 blue jean and 1 black jean. Right now I have Levi's and they just aren't cutting it. I specifically want a pair of black jeans that I can dress up, or just throw a t-shirt on. This is a tough middle zone, so I'm on the hunt.
I'm also looking to buy a bike. Something between a trail bike and a road bike to explore Austin, TX with.
Thank you!
👀 Did you know? Once you onboard on the app, you can respond to and engage with guest contributors like Kristen Pavle in one click.
What’s up in the app
🌸🛼 Contemplating your next purchase and seeking a different kind of insights? 👉 Say it out loud and the community will pop to help on your quest.
Try us:
Cool reads
📰 Let’s cultivate our material intelligence. Wonderful piece celebrating craftmanships, collective intelligence and reconnection with material and knowhow.
The embrace of such connoisseurship could change the world for the better. This is not the same as encouraging luxury production. ‘Better’, here, does not mean market value. It does not imply rare substances, or extraordinary expenditures of workmanship. It just means an object that feels extraordinarily right to you, as my $7 diner mug does to me. Once I found it, I didn’t need to keep buying coffee cups. I was satisfied.
I try to look for the same sense of resolution, satisfaction, in all the things I buy: the curtains in my house, the leather bag I use to carry my laptop, the jeans I wear as I type these words, and yes, the desk chair in which I’m sitting. I could not have made any of these things myself. It so happens that I met all the people who did, though.
(…)
None of the things I’ve just described was all that expensive, but I feel I can claim ‘connoisseurship’ of them (in the oldest sense of the word, which comes from the French for knowledge, or awareness).
📰 Everyone’s A Curator Now
The word “curate” comes from the Latin “curatus,” the past participle of “curare,” which means “to take care of.” For years, in museums and archives, curators did just that: polishing finishes, inspecting canvases, layering archival tissue.
(…)
What could be more disturbing, in these times of climate crisis, than the thought of infinite stuff, of worthless mass production and waste? The notion of something “curated” offers reassurance that what we buy is somehow meaningful; not just a dress, but a precious part of a curated selection of party wear.
“Very often you see that the word that goes before it is ‘careful,’” Mr. Renton said. “‘Carefully curated’ — which is, of course, etymologically, a tautology.”
📰 Everything You Can’t Have
“From dopamine’s point of view, it’s not the having that matters; it’s getting something – anything – that’s new.” The Molecule of More
Your brain doesn’t want stuff. It doesn’t even want new stuff. It wants to engage in the process and anticipation of getting new stuff.
📰 Let’s talk impulse, let’s talk remorse? Amazon Prime members convert 74% of the time, that’s 22 times higher than the average conversion rate of the largest online merchants in North America.
If you got all the way here and have been seeking a better way to experience shopping & enjoy your possessions, alongside enthusiastic, not-so-serious souls, try Objet:
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Til next time,
Mathilde